BOOK REVIEW: MY DARK VANESSA by KATE ELIZABETH RUSSELL

                                                

Sexual assault, molestation, or any other form of sexual misconduct is a nightmare for any parent. The mere thought of such wrongdoing sends shivers and chills down the spine!!! We bend backward trying to protect our children from all possible threats of sexual predators but sadly there have been instances when we fail to protect them. 

One such place where we put our trust in and send our children is the educational institution, be it a day school or a boarding school. However, honestly speaking, no place is safe, not even our homes!

This story is set in a boarding school where a young adolescent aged around 15 years old is coerced into an illicit sexual relationship with her English teacher. The story is from the point of view of the young girl. The story is very real because it talks about the lifelong impact of this relationship on the young girl- the way it molds her thought process, her behavior,  her growth as an individual, her self worth, her confidence- her entire being!!!  

The story talks about the psychological dynamics of this affair and brings to light some important concerns such as consent, participation, acceptance, and willingness. It's a heartwrenching story that makes a vulnerable 15-year-old girl, who has shifted to a new school, a new environment, an easy target for an experienced sexual predator. Moreover, the worst part is the way he manipulates the whole seedy affair into something that she believes is her choice and has an equal voice in!

The part which hit me the most is when toward the end of the book, she finally finds the courage and strength to question the relationship. 

She says, " I just really need it to be a love story." 

" Because if it isn't a love story, then what is it?" 

"It's my life. This has been my whole life."

Another aspect of the story that was dehumanizing was the way the school authorities made the adolescent take the blame for the relationship and expelled her from the school. The naive trusting girl accepted the blame as she was made to assume that she was a contending partner in this sordid affair!

This attitude of the school authorities is a mirror to the ugliness of our world, which does not bat an eye in blaming the weak and washing our hands off a matter, just to keep our IMAGE clean!

The emotional turmoil that a young woman is made to carry for a relationship that was wrong and twisted and thrust upon her against her will is so dispiriting and hurtful. I say 'against her will' because she was just a 15-year-old teenager-a sensitive minor in a new school trying to find her space, make new friends, understand the physical changes in her body, and when the older mature and so-called responsible adult started showing undue attention to her, she was simply overwhelmed. Neither her actions nor her words anywhere make us feel that she was OK with it. She just got swept into it and was deluded into believing that it was her choice. The guilt, the feeling of helplessness, anger, hurt, and the effects of such a huge trauma- all kept buried deep within her with no outlet to express and vent out. 

To be honest, I had almost given up writing a post on this book. This is a topic where there are no grey shades. It is plain and simple EVIL. I knew that my words might sound judgmental and that some might even feel that I am missing certain elements of the story here. 

However, finally, I decided to write what I felt about reading this book as the whole reason for this blog is to pen down my experiences as a reader. 

This post seems a bit abrupt now but there is no right or correct way to end it.

I just want to add that we all pray and hope and wish that our children never have to go through such ugliness ever in life. And God forbid, if ever something happens, I wish that we all remain strong and focused on being there for our children with love, acceptance, courage, hope, and positivity!

Till the next time happy reading!!!